The British dancer Debbie McGee was once posed a question in an interview: “What initially drew you to millionaire Paul Daniels?” One can hope that someday Donald Trump will be asked, “What initially attracted you to billionaire Elon Musk?”
Unfortunately, this question was not raised by Fox News host Sean Hannity during a recent interview with the world’s most influential man, alongside Donald Trump at the White House on Tuesday.
Nevertheless, viewers witnessed an overly sentimental exhibition of the toxic camaraderie currently unsettling America and much of the globe. Who could resist three MAGA men casually discussing the dimensions of Elon’s rockets?
The commander-in-chief and oligarch-in-chief sat closely like a giddy young couple revealing their engagement on live television. Trump donned a blue suit, white shirt, and blue tie, while Musk sported a “tech support” T-shirt beneath a black jacket. The vividness of Trump’s complexion starkly contrasted with Musk’s more pallid hue.
Musk, the powerhouse behind Tesla, SpaceX, and X, who recently proclaimed his affection for Trump “as much as a straight man can love another man,” confirmed his adoration. “Well, I love the president,” he stated. “I just want to clarify that.”
Showing empathy, Hannity asked: “You love the president?”
Musk replied: “I think President Trump is a good man.”
Trump appeared touched, akin to a man whose spouse hasn’t offered such praise in ages. He interjected: “That’s the way he said that. You know, there’s something lovely about that.”
Musk continued: “The president has been so unfairly maligned in the media. It’s genuinely outrageous. I’ve spent a lot of time with him, and not once have I seen him act meanly, cruelly, or wrongly. Not once.”
Just last month, Trump took advantage of a tragic plane accident to criticize his predecessor’s focus on diversity in the federal workforce, but never mind. Hannity seized the moment to outshine Musk, boasting of his 30-year friendship with the president and claiming he has never witnessed anyone withstand such adversity, culminating in two assassination attempts.
Musk confirmed that the first shooting, where a bullet grazed Trump’s ear at a campaign rally in Pennsylvania, spurred his endorsement of Trump’s re-election bid. The president reacted like a fiancé hearing a sweet detail about their initial date.
“Nice,” Trump remarked, “I didn’t know that.”
Musk added: “Yeah, it just – it sped it up, but I was going to do it anyway.”
Like star-crossed lovers, these two are tragically misinterpreted, especially by the despicable media. “They want a divorce,” Hannity announced. “They want you to start hating each other. And they try – ‘Oh, President Elon Musk’, for instance. You do know they’re trying to pull that on you?”
Trump agreed. “Actually, Elon called me. He said: ‘You know they’re trying to drive us apart.’ I said, ‘Absolutely.’”
Then Hannity adopted the tone of Oprah Winfrey interviewing Meghan and Harry. He asked: “I want people to understand the relationship and learn more about you. What is the relationship, Mr. President?”
Trump responded: “Well, I respect him. I’ve always respected him. I never knew he was right about certain things, and I’m usually pretty adept at this stuff. He developed Starlink. He achieved advancements that nobody fully understood.”
He continued: “I think something that impressed me was witnessing the rocket ship returning and being captured as you would cradle a beautiful baby. You hold your baby close.”
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Musk interjected: “Just hug the rocket.”
Hannity chimed in too: “You hug the rocket. You hug the rocket.”
Steady on!
In relation to space, Trump, Musk, and Hannity seized the opportunity to misrepresent Joe Biden, accusing him of leaving astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams stranded on the International Space Station for eight months.
Musk remarked: “Yes, they were left there for political reasons, which is not good.”
Trump added that Biden “was planning to leave them in space… Yeah, he didn’t want the media attention. Can you imagine?”
Can we truly believe that Biden is as cold-hearted and calculating as Hal 9000, banishing astronauts into the vastness of space? No, we cannot.
Musk proceeded to mock “Trump derangement syndrome,” describing how at a friend’s birthday gathering in Los Angeles, mentioning the president’s name elicited reactions as if they had been struck by a dart laced with “meth and rabies.”
Some might argue that a fate less severe awaited viewers than the hour of television that Fox News aired during prime time, a desperate endeavor to rationalize Musk’s so-called “department of government efficiency,” currently wreaking havoc within the federal administration. As Trump might have put it: “You had me at dismantling the administrative state.”
