Valentine’s Day offers a fantastic opportunity to indulge your loved one — but let’s be honest, it can also come with a hefty price tag. Whether you’re planning a romantic getaway or an extravagant dinner, chances are you’ll be spending a decent amount on this special day dedicated to love. Instead of solely concentrating on your budget for Valentine’s Day, consider it a prime moment for a financial check-in with your partner.
According to a 2024 Couples & Money Study by Fidelity Investments, nearly 90% of couples believe they communicate well regarding finances, but over 25% admit to feeling resentment when excluded from financial decisions. Moreover, 60% of couples think they share a common vision for retirement, yet more than half disagree on how much they should save for that future. These financial differences, while seemingly minor, can lead to significant issues down the line, even threatening the relationship. Fortunately, there are proactive measures you can take now to prevent such problems.
Discussing money with your partner can be challenging, so it’s best to start with small conversations early on. You might begin by asking if they identify more as a saver or a spender. Recognizing each other’s spending patterns from the outset can help assess your financial compatibility. The sooner you understand your partner’s attitudes toward money, the more time you’ll have for future planning or finding compromises if your financial philosophies don’t match. These discussions should take place well before making significant commitments, like moving in together.
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Be Transparent About Debt
Alongside discussing spending habits, it’s crucial to be open about any debts you may have, such as student loans or credit card debt. If marriage is on the horizon, it’s essential to realize that your partner’s debts will become yours once you say “I do.” If these debts aren’t addressed with a plan for repayment, they could significantly hinder your future aspirations. This is not the moment to feel shy or embarrassed about your financial situation; rather, view it as an opportunity to establish a strategic approach to pay down debts together.
As your relationship grows more serious and perhaps involves living together, developing a joint budget is vital, and it should be reviewed regularly. If you identify overspending in any area, work together to create a solution rather than point fingers. If everything is on track, use the budget as a guideline for future expenditures and savings. You might even discover some extra money to treat yourselves — a definite win!
I prefer to maintain two budgets: my household budget and my personal budget. When creating our household budget, my partner and I collaborate to allocate our monthly income for bills, savings, and ‘mad money’ for personal splurges. We jointly budget for bills and savings, and whatever remains is divided accordingly into our individual mad money accounts. I use my mad money for activities like getting my nails done, lunch outings, social events, and gifts.
Ensure Your Goals Align
Whether it’s starting a family, purchasing a home, launching a business, traveling, or going back to school, we all have financial goals that require funding. If you envision a future with your partner, it’s crucial to align your goals. You may not always see eye to eye, but understanding each other’s priorities can pave the way for compromise and mutual support. Failing to communicate your aspirations can lead to conflicts down the road. Cultivating financial stability as a couple is a collaborative effort and doesn’t happen by chance.
Achieving financial security in your relationship is an ongoing journey, and it’s important to discuss your finances as a couple regularly. While it may feel uncomfortable initially, the more you engage in these conversations, the easier it will become.
If you find yourself apprehensive about discussing money with your partner, it might point to a deeper issue. Initiating these conversations promptly is not only beneficial for the health of your relationship but could also save you from potential financial strain and heartache.
For further insights, you can listen to Kelsey on the Not Your Father’s Two Cents podcast in the episode The Financial Conversations You Need to Have Before You Commit.
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This article was written by and reflects the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can verify adviser records with the SEC or FINRA.
